New Year, New You!
The body is the battlefield where our mind wages war. Love this analogy from Deepak Chopra. Isn’t it amazing how often our mind races and we create so much more drama in our lives then might have been there to begin with.
When we are caught up in our minds and we forget to stay in our present moment our unconscious programming takes over. All those negative thoughts and experiences you’ve had in your life just start to rotate into a spiral and before you know it you’ve waged a full blown battle in your mind.
This battle reeks havoc on your body. As your negative thoughts spiral out of control so too does your body.
The best way to combat this battle is to stop fighting. Allow the feelings to be there come back to the present moment and as Deepak says treat your body like a garden. Nurture it with love and positivity and good things will grow.
This new year lets take a moment to stop the battle going on in our minds. Take a few deep breaths allow the scary fearful feelings to be there and then choose to let them go. Stop fighting with yourself. Choose to love yourself and the journey you’re on. This is the first step to a truly healthy new you. Believe!
A Radical Awakening
Dr. Shafali’s book A Radical Awakening is extremely eye opening and has amazing insight into women in our culture today.
Lately I have been realizing that our childhood and our past and even our parents and their parents past plays a role in who we become. Some of the traumas of our life are shared. Like the shared experiences of women and people of color and anyone who is different from mainstream society. It just means our collective conscious has a lot to work through.
I think realizing this is so important so that we can understand that all of what seems to hold us back is not ours alone to carry. Many of those within our gender or color or etc. understand how we feel. I see how that it is so important that we teach each other And trust in each other to help us through this journey of self discovery.
Dr. Shafali dives deep into what it means to be a women and the caretaking tendencies that can often accompany that role. She discusses several different faces of the ego that can present in us as well. The following is a list from Dr Shafali’s book accompanied by a few characteristics. See if you see yourself in any of the following . I sure did.
The Givers:
The Victim; Do you feel as if people take advantage of you? As though you are the innocent target for other people’s wrath?
The Martyr; Do you typically endure your hard work through suffering in silence ? Do you feel burnt out by all you have on your shoulders?
The Savior; My giving allows me to feel useful valid and worthy, My giving allows me to ward off the discomfort of feeling the unknown?
The Bleeding Empath; The capacity to feel others pain to a deep degree, the incapacity to clearly state my needs without guilt?
The Controllers
The Perfectionist; You have to constantly outdo and perform to feel good. You need to either excel or give up- average is unacceptable?
The Helicopter; Over possession - the other is seen as a direct extension of self, Over criticism- finding blame with everyone and everything ?
The Passive -Aggressive Tyrant ; She says yes to all the requests made of her without discretion until she is exhausted and rageful?
The Shield; Stoic and unemotional, Rational detached and logical in arguments?
The Takers
The Diva; The need to be the star of attention, Negative feedback is the plague?
The Princess ; Defaulting to helplessness and not knowing how to do things, protecting themselves from being hurt by being passive?
The Child; Stays inactive and passive in decision making, great denial about the painful truth of their life?
We all have at least a couple of these that ring true for us. They are just ways that our ego has stepped in to try to protect us. Usually at a point in our childhood or a time of trauma. It’s nothing to be upset at yourself about or to say there is anything wrong with you. It’s just an opportunity to be aware of some of the tendencies in your life that may not be overly helpful to you. By getting In touch with yourself and your truth you will be able to make choices in your life from a place of peace and balance and not from a place of fear, comparison, and resentment.
AWARENESS
Just recently I was reading a book by Rhonda Byrnes called ‘The Greatest Secret’. I have read all of the Secret books and do recommend them if you’re interested in learning more about manifestation.
In ‘The Greatest Secret ‘ Rhonda discusses awareness. In mindfulness awareness is so important. We let our minds take over and ruminate and tell stories so often, that we are very seldom just here in the now noticing and being present. Rhonda shares a three part step process to practicing awareness. She calls them her three steps to bliss!
Step one is to ask yourself “Am I aware?”. When we say those words to ourselves we automatically become aware of the present moment. It’s a mantra we can say over and over every time we feel our minds wonder and take off in a direction that is not the present moment. Just stopping and asking yourself “Am I aware?”, will start the process of allowing you to see thoughts for what they are. Just thoughts. They don’t define you, you don’t have to believe them.
The second step in blissful awareness is to notice the awareness. I know this sounds a little confusing. But, Rhonda says to put your attention in the present moment let it come to the foreground and let all your thoughts fears and worries recede to the background. This is noticing awareness.
Finally Rhonda says the last step in awareness is to Stay as Awareness. This simply means that you notice where you put your attention. Awareness is something that should be effortless. When you stop giving your mind power over you you can be in a state of simple awareness. Simple being.
Awareness is such an amazing way to find the present moment. Notice the smell of the fresh cut grass. The feel of the wind on you’re face. Be aware of this moment right now. And let all the fears thoughts and worries fall away.
Mindful Moment
I am currently reading a book by Jay Shetty called Think Like a Monk. It is an awesome book that has taught me so much about centering and being mindful. Jay was a college student who happened to go to a Seminar where a Buddhist monk was speaking. He was totally motivated by the monks talk and decided to go to an ashram and learn to become a monk. The book is about his amazing time as a monk and how he has decided to share what he has learned with others.
Hey divides his book up into 3 sections. Letting Go, Growing, and Giving. These are all amazing guides into mindfulness. Monks are some of the most mindful people on the planet, because they spend all day everyday working on these values. In somewhat extreme ways, but that doesn't mean we too can’t learn from them and also find ways to let go, grow, and give in our daily lives.
In Letting Go Jay talks about the importance of knowing your identity. A big part of mindfulness is being able to separate yourself from the world and being able to truly know who you are and how amazing you are. Learning to let go of all of the negativity and fear around you and truly finding your true self. Jay also talks about identifying your intentions. He says that your intentions reveal your values. For example if your intention is to support your family, then you value your family. It’s important to have intentions because joy comes from believing in the value of what you do. Finally in letting go Jay discusses the importance of meditation. Mediation helps you find your way to consciousness. It helps you learn to live in the present moment.
Growing is all about finding your purpose. Your purpose might be more than the current job you hold. Your purpose is something deep within you that is guiding you to do what you were put on this earth to do. It is usually something that you love to do and something that comes super easy to you. You loose all track of time when you are working within your purpose. Too often we all get caught up in what we should do, or what we have to do, that we loose sight of our goals and what we love to do. Finding your purpose is the process of finding the true you. Jay says “ Our passion and purpose isn't in our head it’s in our heart”.
Finally, giving is is all about gratitude, relationships, and service. When you are so thankful for everything that you have, that is when you can truly give back. You can give back to your relationships that you are currently a part of, or even just to the world as a whole. True gratitude is the best way to find peace and mindfulness in everyday life. And, when we are grateful it is easier to give back because we can give and not expect anything in return. Not even acknowledgement and praise. We are just giving for the pure enjoyment of knowing we are helping someone else to find their peace. Jay says “Your
value doesn’t depend on someone’s ability to truly appreciate you. “
I really enjoyed, Think Like a Monk. It gave me so much insight into how we all have the ability to truly be present and mindful. To love ourselves and in turn to love others. This Mindful approach to living is truly enlightening.
Mindful Moment
YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS OR YOUR PHYSICAL BODY
You are just the one observing them. When you can learn to separate yourself from your thoughts and your physical body you can become free of fears, anxiety, and pain.
Think of a time when you were fearful of something in the future and your thoughts went to the worst case scenario. Now take a step back and look at those thoughts as an observer. When looking at those thoughts as an outsider they seem a little crazy, right? It is easy to get caught up in fears and anxiety, but changing your perspective can help to keep your mind from taking control and spiraling into unrealistic outcomes.